Thread: Things to do to your thick mate

Lets us know any wee tricks you have played on your thick mate .You know like wiping your arse on their tooth brush and telling the 2 weeks later.

A good one is to empty half the tobacco out of a cig.Drop a couple of the heads from matches into the half empty cig ,then fill it back up.This takes a while to do but when you pass it on to your thick mate the lolz you get whne the cig bursts into flames is well worth it .

Any more folks ?

If anyone is thinking: "I don't have a thick mate," you are the thick mate.

matches in the cig is a classic. giving someone a sleeping pill instead of an E is an old fave.

Originally Posted by clagan

matches in the cig is a classic. giving someone a sleeping pill instead of an E is an old fave.

Aye sir that indeed is a good one .Even better one if giving them a penicillen tablet and telling them they have to chew it for it to work.(yes I once had a mate thick enough to fall for that)Then sit back and watch the faces they pull

Originally Posted by clagan

matches in the cig is a classic. giving someone a sleeping pill instead of an E is an old fave.

hahaha! ya sick fuck!

we actually planned to give a mate a sleeping pill and a viagra, tell him they're E's and watch him fall asleep with a boner but i had to stop it, was a step too far

I once invited a friend of mine to a Wedding on April fool's day, it was funny seing him come down to my house all dress up.

Originally Posted by Fancy Pants

Aye sir that indeed is a good one .Even better one if giving them a penicillen tablet and telling them they have to chew it for it to work.(yes I once had a mate thick enough to fall for that)Then sit back and watch the faces they pull

a guy who used to tag along with all us when we were younger was a bit of a tadger and he would always ask us if we could get him speed.
So one night my mate crushed up a couple of soluble co-codamol tablets, wrapped it up and sold it to him just expecting him to leave the house there and then. But he kicked about then asked if it was ok to do a line, chopped one out, snorted it ans the next minute there was all this frothy white shit bubbling out this guys nose!
It was fucking hilarious to watch tbf! The guy was a tool! This is the same guy who got battered and robbed off a blytheswood square hooker for calling her a slut after he had paid 100 quid for a taxi from port glasgow to take him up and wait for him!

you know how now cars have volume controls at the wheel, well one of my mates had never heard of this before so when we were in the car i told him the stereo was voice activated. Twas hilarious watching him commanding the radio "volume up" whilst my mate turned it up at the wheel

Originally Posted by Stagger Lee

a guy who used to tag along with all us when we were younger was a bit of a tadger and he would always ask us if we could get him speed.
So one night my mate crushed up a couple of soluble co-codamol tablets, wrapped it up and sold it to him just expecting him to leave the house there and then. But he kicked about then asked if it was ok to do a line, chopped one out, snorted it ans the next minute there was all this frothy white shit bubbling out this guys nose!
It was fucking hilarious to watch tbf! The guy was a tool! This is the same guy who got battered and robbed off a blytheswood square hooker for calling her a slut after he had paid 100 quid for a taxi from port glasgow to take him up and wait for him!

aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha fantastic stuff there Stagger.

Mate of mine was lying in bed stoned one night and could n't get to sleep.So he decided it would be a good idea to run about the house shouting fire till he woke the whole family up.Once they all got up and where running about mad he told em he was joking.His dad leathered him.Uptae yerself if you wish to use this one .

Originally Posted by Fancy Pants

aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha fantastic stuff there Stagger.

Mate of mine was lying in bed stoned one night and could n't get to sleep.So he decided it would be a good idea to run about the house shouting fire till he woke the whole family up.Once they all got up and where running about mad he told em he was joking.His dad leathered him.Uptae yerself if you wish to use this one .

hahaha! i woulda gave him a hell of a kicking!

That boy i was talking about there, the worst thing about it was his surname is Coull (pronounced cool) and he had to be the most uncool cunt you will ever witness in your life: acne during his mid twenties, skinny as fuck, loads of dan dooks and specky geeky eyes with cold clammy, sweaty hands!

Just goes to show that there's irony in the universe!

I once got sent for a long stand ..............:o


For my work experience i got sent to a metal processing factory, It had 3 floor's and the bottom one was the dirtyest, it was mankey as fuck.


Anywho i was outside with the guy who was looking after me waiting on my lift picking me up when I seen a mankey fuck guy walking out the front door,

Anyway they guy who i was with said to him, Here Bobby, want a lift home? so he said aye,


So the guy i was with said awrite, there is my uncle's car over there, go and wait in the car and i'll be out in 2 minutes,


The car he went in was a big fuck of BMW, smart as fuck, was a new plate, and this daft cunt walked in dressed link Malky the alkey,

The guy went fuckin ape shit, aw it was funny



This might not sound funny typed town, but it was funny as fuck at the time,


Man i could go on all day with funny shit that happened at work.

Originally Posted by Steven

I once got sent for a long stand ..............:o


For my work experience i got sent to a metal processing factory, It had 3 floor's and the bottom one was the dirtyest, it was mankey as fuck.


Anywho i was outside with the guy who was looking after me waiting on my lift picking me up when I seen a mankey fuck guy walking out the front door,

Anyway they guy who i was with said to him, Here Bobby, want a lift home? so he said aye,


So the guy i was with said awrite, there is my uncle's car over there, go and wait in the car and i'll be out in 2 minutes,


The car he went in was a big fuck of BMW, smart as fuck, was a new plate, and this daft cunt walked in dressed link Malky the alkey,

The guy went fuckin ape shit, aw it was funny



This might not sound funny typed town, but it was funny as fuck at the time,


Man i could go on all day with funny shit that happened at work.

hahahaaha! fucking pissing masel mate! one of those "ye had to be there moments"

Well I made cannabutter, and filtered out the dregs as you do.

Now anyone who's ever done this knows the physical weed left has no THC in it, so i dried it out, put it in a few bags and went about selling to daft cunts in netherlee.

Ha made £100 out of this.

Originally Posted by Hoopymo

Well I made cannabutter, and filtered out the dregs as you do.

Now anyone who's ever done this knows the physical weed left has no THC in it, so i dried it out, put it in a few bags and went about selling to daft cunts in netherlee.

Ha made £100 out of this.

ive never heard of that tbh wi ye mate. Bad craic though man, think how ye felt when yourself ye got ripped off when ye where a youngster buying ganja, it was bollocks man!
Ye would spend all night trying to get 3 cunts together with 3 quid each so ye could afford a half Q that ye would all bladder wi 3 draws and pass and 5 skinners!

Originally Posted by mcfitz

best one iv done was on my brother and his mates, they were all heading out one night and while i was downstairs my bro went into my room and robbed my bottle of absinthe, seen what the wee fuck had done so plotted my revenge , waited til they were all out having a smoke out the back and i filled the shot glasses with fairy liquid when they came back i told them we were going to play a drinking game so they sat down and we played the name game (just to mke the sitution look real to them otherwise they would have known id done something to the drink) one two three all 8 of them swallowed the fairy liquid best still when they ran to get water the stupid fucks forgot fairy liquid + water = bubbles

ah good times

quality:rofl:

We gave a mate a parma violet and told him it was an E

Much lulz followed :rofl:

Poke them with sticks

Instead of matches in a smoke, pubes!

Piss in a bottle, make sure its cold.